45 Thoughts I Had Watching GBBO - Series 8 Episode 8

 Once upon a time, long long ago, lived three bakes. One named Hold Your Horses, another We Haven't Started the Episode Yet, and the third Let's Get On With It Then. They lived magnificent, golden-crusted lives until all of a sudden, they were nowhere to be found. Until Series 8 Episode 8 of a (newly) Channel 4-made television show named The Great British Bake Off, they were long forgotten. Yet, a slightly orange, silver-haired man named Paul and a sandy-haired woman with an eclectic range of contemporary necklaces named Prue remembered. They remembered.*

*p.s. my sincerest apologies for not blogging last week. as I work on a computer all day it's quite hard for me to motivate myself to stare at a screen and concentrate outside of le workplace but I won't let you down again je te promets**
** p.p.s also I was tempted to write about everything going on right now with regards to H.W/#MeToo (google it) but I think everything has been said (if requested, however, my inner gender studies minor might have to unleash itself)

1. So from this intro we know the real reason why Noel doesn't eat any of the contestants' food. Not only is he keeping off the sugz, but he's also triggered by any half-decent bake due to his inability to make cupcakes without burning them.
2. Last week we lost Yan, and it was hecking sad. I'm not quite sure how Stacey/Victoria Coren has made it this far, but what I am sure about is that the real Victoria Coren would've pulled it out the bag by now. 

   

   actually I have no recollection of how she did on GBBO Sport Relief

3. Prue's shirt is awesome. I feel like it's a secret rule that at least one of the four presenter/judging folk has to look super edgy.
4. First challenge - a Bedfordshire... clanger? And they have to make four of them. I would Google it but I don't want to find out who won (I'm watching this very late on Tuesday eve after my nap got out of control and I missed the live episode...) 
5. In this bake, you need suet. I t-h-i-n-k I've used this when making dumplings before. Steven seems knowledgeable about clangers, and his are Mediterranean-inspired. 
   
6. Oooh so one savoury and one sweet - Liam is making pesto pizza clangers and granny smith apple clangers. I still have no idea what they are but from the illustrations I know that pastry is involved and they look like sausage rolls. Not sure Greggs would sell these, mind.
7. Resident VC is using Camembert and onion in her savoury, and apple and blueberry for the sweet. Sounds good to me, and so does Sophie's: char siu (something to do with pork) and banana praline. Mmm.
8. Meanwhile, Kate's savoury is inspired by the Mexican burrito, and her sweet clangers will be filled with 'caribbean banana and rice pudding'. Also sounds like it could be yum-worthy.
9. "All the gear, no idea" - call Stacey for your t-shirt slogan ideas on 0800-CLANG-DONTLEAK.
10. The tent is full of leakage paranoia. Stacey is not okay. And Kate's getting last-minute temperature advice from Steven. Hers might not be cooked in time.
11. Hahahahaha Liam is ME. Looking for his sauce pots and they're on the counter right in front of him.
12. Kate has DROPPED A CLANGER.
    
    Can she serve that?! Is Paul going to get some bonus carpet threads in his mouthful?!... *ahem*... time for a break.
13. Kate's clangers are up first, and all in all the judges think they're under-baked. She didn't get a hammering though. As for Liam's bakes, they taste good, but they're too soft for Paul's liking.
14. Sophie now. Prue isn't that impressed with her savoury... Steven's smashed his savoury though, and the sweet! Apart from the fact that their shape is a bit funny.
15. Stacey's probably peeing herself, but she needn't as the compliments are flying. Did NOT expect this from her panicking. Oh no WAY she got a Paul handshake!!! WHAT
16. Now on to the second challenge, also known as the heckin' technical... the Cumberland rumnickey? Rum Nicky. Sounds like a boozy latticed tart with a fruity filling, according to Sandi's description, and apparently the judges want it served with rum butter. Of course they do. 

    

    a Cumberland Rum Nicky, for reference

17. Let's just keep a note: 35 minutes is the time required to cook the Rum Nicky to perfection. 35.
18. Kate's trying to talking about rubbing in the mixture without looking shifty and making it sound a wee bit naughty. She failed miserably.
19. It's official. Can confirm Stacey is definitely not Victoria Coren. I quote, "very very bad at maths". Match not found. 
    
20. The bakers are making their lattices now. Steven's looked the best of the five, but he's squidged it back together and I'm not sure he's left himself enough baking time.
21. Noel's trying his best to calm Liam, but I think this is a call for Naboo to arrive. 
    
22. Thirty seconds to go and everyone's still running around aaaAaAaaAaahhHhhhH.
23. The Rum Nickys have been put on the table for blind judging, and they look so different someone is bound to get shredded for presentation.
24. The judgements: Liam's was a 'disappointment' for Prue - under-baked. Sophie had way too much lattice for the alcohol to evaporate through. Steven's, while its presentation is poor, is delicious. Stacey's wasn't bad but needed more time in the oven, and so did Kate. In fact, Kate aced her rum butter.
25. Aaand the results: Liam in fifth, Sophie in fourth, Stacey in third, Kate in second and that means Steven in first!
26. It's time for third and final challenge: the long forgotten showstopper, a.k.a. the Savoy cake. It has a hard sugar coating, and needs to be served on a plinth which is also made of cake (!?!??!)
27. Paul is just asking for it to be 'exquisite'. Only exquisite, nothing too demanding, ya know..
28. Stacey is using lemon and orange sponges for hers, and using jellies and macaroons to decorate. Apparently lemon is traditional for the Savoy cake flavouring.
29. Meanwhile, Steven's going for a chestnut rum flavouring and cinnamon (I seem to remember). 
    
    And Kate is making the Liver building, using a total of SIXTY eggs! Damn.
30. Liam is making a (presumably) tasty cake of wizardry, while Sophie is aiming for something very fancy and complicated involving 'green apple croquembouche', chocolate, yuzu powder and dried strawberries.
31. While everyone with one cake tier has theirs in the oven, Kate still has four more to bake. If she smashes this it'll be amazing, but in the meantime she's definitely making life difficult for herself.
32. Yaaaaaaaas. So all of the main cakes have come out okay. Now for the decorating (well, for everyone but Kate). Steven's making sugar-paste roses.
33. OH GOD. OH GODDING GOD. Stacey's oven door has broken off.
    
    She's pushing her door up against it trying to make sure everything cooks. Now she's gone on the search for another oven, and she's found one. Phew.
34. Paul is on the prowl again, but this week he's chosen to freak out Steven. And there's 6x5=30 minutes left.
35. Steven's roses are beautiful. Uuughhh. Sophie's little pastry balls keep falling off, Stacey's extra bits aren't baked and Liam's sugar is melting aaaaaaaaaahhhh.
36. It's judgement time. Yikes. 
    
37. Stacey... has aced the orange cake flavour. Not so much the lemon. The meringues and macaroons aren't cooked well, but the cakes are. Prue is still being really nice about it. 
    
38. Liam's had a bit of a sugar fiasco. Oh, even his flavours aren't great. Oooh er. Surely he can't be leaving?! 
    
39. Sophie's presentation is fantastico.
    
    As for the cake, it tastes good but it's not airy enough - a bit chewy. The judges like it though.
40. Twinkly music on for Steven's cake, and it deserves it. It looks stunning, and it tastes alright too. Especially the cinnamon apples. 
    
41. Finally, Kate's.
    
    One of the cakes was bang on, the others too dry. :(
42. In the final cake meeting, Prue has said outright that Sophie has saved herself. Seems like it's between Liam and Kate for who's leaving... 

    

    dat shirt tho... and a rainbow necklace yeeees

43. Star Baker this week is Stacey! Did not predict this from the last two weeks.
44. NooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooOOOoooooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOoooOOOOooo
45. My favourite has gone. Liam has gone. But Noel's given him a kiss of good luck. He shall go forth and bake his flavours far and wide. 
    

all images via da luvleh google images