My Anxiety

Over the past few years especially, I've been told by people that they think I'm self-confident. Probably because of the clothes I wear -

My shopping process = walking round + seeing things with my eyes + picking up the things that make me think "THAT'S SO COOL" + buying said things. And wearing them all at the same time often without consideration of any of them 'going together' because life is too short and 100% awesome 24/7 is extremely desirable in my eyes.

- or how I've grown so much as a person since leaving sixth form. Only on the inside - sadly I haven't grown any taller and the brother continues to conquer our personal version of the Inter-Sibling Heightolympics.


Now I'm not a shrink (I'm not American either so I'll happily correct that for you to 'psychiatrist') but I don't really believe self-confidence and anxiety are completely inseparable. Saying that, I feel like they've got more links than a Mattessons factory. Here's what I mean: I possess self-confidence all the time. It may get to quite a low level, like it did today which is why I was inspired to write this post, but it's never fully gone - I can always revive it and consequently feel like having a 4-hour-long sing & dance party to super feel-good songs in my room. WITH THE WINDOW OPEN, PEOPLE. My anxiety, however, sometimes completely vanishes and I have no worries whatsoever. Poof! Gone. Non-existent. This, though, instead of continuously being revived like my self-confidence, seems to resurrect itself or perform some kind of Sherlock-esque disappearing act. When my anxiety kindly removes its ugly butt from my life, I feel like it can never come back but it always, always does.

This is why I'm working really hard on ensuring I believe in myself and why I'm going to make note of three things I've achieved each day. I've also put little flowery Post-It notes with cool kick-ass quotes around my mirror. A cheesy thing to do, but it's already helping. I'd say if you know ways to get yourself back on your feet that have worked before, repeat them over and over like their your favourite type of film marathon.


Over and out - I'm off to go and bake me some tea goodness.

Images via

Comments

Post a Comment