06 July 2015

The Most Ungodly Thing on this Earth

Welcome to this blog post entitled 'The Most Ungodly Thing on this Earth'. Just in case you didn't read the big, blue title up there.

No, I'm not talking about orange juice combined with toothpaste. Not even festival toilets. Yes, that's right - I, Rhiangle, Empress of Somewhere, shall in this blog post conquer the hugely taboo subject that is:

pineapple on pizza




Pretty sure this is treason - OH MY GOD IS THAT BANANA OH JEEZUS LUCIFER

As you can see, I have provided sufficient evidence to show that this madness has to stop. What next - chocolate quiche?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!/???!?!!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

.......have just made the mistake of googling 'chocolate quiche'.

In response to my previous question (I answer my own questions now because: adulthood), pineapple on pizza was claimed to be first invented by a Canadian chap called Sam Panopoulos. Even though it's called a Hawaiian pizza. So not only is it a horrifying invention but its name is a big fat fruit-infused lie. People probably accidentally dropped pineapple on pizza before then while they were making fruit salad at the same time on a high shelf but removed it instantly because they knew it was a culinary crime. Well done, Panopoulos. I hope you're happy.

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03 July 2015

un petit post

BREAKING NEWS: MY LAPTOP WORKS!(i.e. no longer dies every half hour)

The above title hints at the exact reason why I haven't been blogging for this past while. That and sorting out future uni stuff, but mostly my lack of a functioning PC. Believe me - if it had worked, I would have blogged. Procrastination is a natural pathway.

Now Glastonbury's out the way and I feel like I am somehow going to stop talking about it in the near future, I've decided to make a chill-out summer playlist. The purpose of this for me is to not bore myself into black hole of dust-filled doom whilst cleaning my room this summer (it will take longer than most people's). In the next blogpost I'll reveal all dem tunes. Before I go crazy since I can't think of anything to write about I'll leave you with this:

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11 June 2015

Almost there.

Bonjour young whippersnappers. Not done much today? Well prepare to feel great about yourself because the best achievement I had today is a toss-up between actually doing revision and biting 3/4 of the way through my bottom lip. Mmm, mouth flesh.

Yes, the reason why I haven't been blogging lately is that I'm a uni student. Uni students, from time to time, have to do this thing called studying. 'Have to' is a bold way to put it, but we as desiring-to-be-educated individuals are hypothetically paying 9000 mulas a year for pieces of paper, powerpoints and the occasional feedback from tutors (which, by the way, sometimes doesn't even occur). My only conclusion is that everything we receive is laced with tiny tiny particles of gold.

But back to the point - exams are still happening for some of us. I'm looking at you, second years in second year which I should technically be in but am not because I made a positive life decision
Oh and a message to the third years in our building, especially the guy doing operatic yodelling the other night - we are still in something called the, oh what's-its-face, that thing that they emailed us about like a million times....oh yeah -


Note how I highlighted the word 'quiet' here to signify that you're meant to possess this quality within this period. Which has not yet ended. As much as I appreciate the beauty of opera and the associations of yodelling with the magnificent 'Sound of Music' I'd much prefer to hear all that in a week's time when I don't have a bucket full of theoretical terms to memorise.

Saying that, I've re-commenced writing this post here and as of now, I have one more exam left. I would say I'm feeling as great as a person with one exam could feel but I've got a bit of popcorn-shell chilling at the back of my throat and it's annoying the absolute hell out of me. You will know it when I finish that last exam. You will feel it in the air and your bones and your Subway BLT with extra T Sub as I run out of that French exam on Saturday morning shouting "Sacreeee bleu!" in my best Clemence Poesy accent. The earth shall shatter, the mountains shall move, I will BUY SOME WINE.

Just on a side note - my procrastination has reached new levels this year. This week alone, I:

  1. Googled my name's origins. Apparently from the old Celtic name Rigantona, which translates as "great queen". Or a goddess of 'fertility and the moon'. Nice. Happy with both of those.
  2. Procrastinated FROM Netflix. The episode was too damn scary, okay - I can't deal with that stress right now, I need to study...oh wait...
  3. Tracked a Topshop order online. This doesn't sound too weird, but I was literally sitting there waiting for it to get to the next stage. There were seven stages.
  4. Have eaten a Ben & Jerry's tub in two sittings. This has not been rare over my lifetime, but this year it's a step backwards. Must. Resist. Combination of cookie dough and brownie.
  5. Ran for more than 5 minutes without stopping. Or feeling like I was going to die. This is a record for me. Can we all just breathe deeply and take this in please. It's taken in? Right, cool. I did this while listening to a You Me At Six song. Would be useful if I could remember what that song was but funnily enough my memory-captivating device isn't on top form when I'm simultaneously hyperventilating and dragging my legs up a hill.

Honestly, second and third year are much more pressure-filled so I'm excited to see where my future procrastination takes me.

Peace out until freedom,

Rhi x

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01 June 2015


Okay so don't be reading all up in this blog post if you haven't yet seen episode 8 of series 5. This aired yesterday. You have my warning. Do not read further if this is so. Or forever hold your Wilding-spirited self to blame.

Well hello there young watcher of the best show on Earth. This episode was a bit of a mad one wasn't it. I'm pretty sure I had breathing problems by the last few scenes. Let's go over the most awesome parts first before we all recall the nightmare that was the invasion of the creepy dead monsters:

1. Cersei being treated like doo-doo.

This was brilliant to watch. Not that I ever like watching people get treated horribly but she deserved it somewhat as she is a major moron of a woman. Satisfaction came mostly from the fact that she was being bossed around for once by the stone-cold prison guard/nun (?) lady who demanded a confession and in not receiving one from Cersei poured her water ration onto the floor. Just confess Cersei, okay - you did stuff with your brother. Admit to being weird, embrace it. Oh and the fact that you've manipulated everyone and that you're a 'queen' *ahem* of lies.

2. Tyrion showing Daenerys who's boss.

With D getting a bit big-headed and all, Tyrion is a great antidote. Not only is he sucking up to her ego by saying how marvellous she is so she can't argue that he's against her, but he's now her advisor so he can (potentially) work with her to get what he wants. Whatever that is. Not quite sure what "break the wheel" meant, D, but don't go killing loads of innocent people. Maybe go calm down your dragons. Also, wine.

3. Arya being a successful...whatever she was doing right.

She's in the face chamber thing right? And the guy was like "you're doing great" and she was like "thanks face master, I sell clams".

4. Theon (I refuse to call him his other, false, name) told Sansa the truth.

Incredibly nice to know that she doesn't hate him now. Hopefully they can work together to sort all this grim Ramsay stuff out. Or not. Ramsay is a nasty piece of work. Creepily attractive, but nasty. However it turns out, it probably won't go smoothly.

Okay so now we're onto the second half of the great big evil pavlova that was episode 8.

So while the white walkers with their icy Paul-Hollywood eyes approached Hardhome, a settlement beyond The Wall, Jon Snow and all his peeps stood there dramatically until they realised the big mess they were about to be in and pegged it behind the giant wooden gates. A lot of their people got smushed into human purée because they didn't make it in time and then tension built up until the creepy WWs started smashing through the gate (as you do) and eventually they broke through. Fighting and sword stuff happened and it was really exciting and I ate lots of Doritos and salsa in this bit because I was so enthralled. Then Jon Snow got himself into a bit of a wee pickle when the big evil walker dude with especially sea-like eyes went after him exclusively with an enormous sword-device. Jon might have given me several heart palpitations as he kept dodging the sword swipes and looking injured and like he was going to die and I actually whispered the words "oh god this is it" and then he finds a magic sword and it doesn't get destroyed by the walker's. This big walker then re-evaluates his whole strategy before being slayed to smithereens by Jon Snow the mighty crow of the snow. Oh but then as they sail away on the boats (which they probably should have all done in the first place) Snow realises his absolute dumb-butt mistake when he sees all of his people and all the people he called in to help fight rise from the dead as white walkers themselves. His decision basically quadrupled (calculations not exact) the size of the WW army. Good one Jon.

Finally his boat sails off (terrifyingly slowly, so slow that all the walkers could have made a boat in that time and sailed out furiously and topped them all off) with a few main people in and himself. And we're all left thinking: oh. flipping. no.

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28 May 2015

Revision Break 1

With it being the end of May now, exams are well under way and I can't remember the last day when I didn't experience the overpowering smell of highlighters.
Another result of revision is eating an insane amount of snacks - in the past 24 hours I've consumed about 8 pieces of flapjack. According to the internet I need to run for about 17 hours to burn that off, so in other words I need to do one of those marathon-a-day stunts for an entire week to redeem myself. Ahahahaha. Aha. Ha.

In other news, the Queen is coming to Lancaster tomorrow so I'm majorly looking forward to our lunch date. Jokes, jokes, that was last year. This year I'm leaving her to do her own thing while I revise - she understands my educational needs. Thanks Queenie, xoxo 

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11 May 2015

Cake and Kicking Butt

One thing I always agree with is that you should get your priorities straight.
And that is why, dear friends, I'm sat here eating a fondant fancy.

My first priority was to find my Apple headphones. As anyone on campus will know, I am pretty much lost without them. When I lose my headphones, I may as well just not go outside at all (okay maybe going to get milk is an exception) because I need the ability to psych myself up for lectures and seminars with a five minute blast of The Rapture/Queen B/Snoop Dogg*.
Luckily, I've found a solution. My beautiful Skullcandys, from when Orange used to be Orange and not part of EE and they gave out gifts with phones, are out in full force. Not gonna' lie, the sound-quality is immense yet I do feel like I'm constantly DJ-ing even though all I'm doing is strolling down the Spine. I don't know where my old Apple friends have gone but if they're reading this they need to know that I'm thinking of them and they need to come home. They were so much easier to run with.

*tunes depend on mood of self

My second priority was to finish referencing my work, which I've ONLY GONE AND DONE, HOLY TRAYBAKE. The reason why I'm so chuffed with this is that I started this piece yesterday and honestly thought I'd still be working on it until tomorrow's 1pm deadline. Thank God for Sundays.

My third and penultimate priority was to practice the presentation with my group for tomorrow. And we have done. I can officially tell you a very official and secretive secret: we are going to kick its butt. Like this:

And this:

And afterwards we'll drive off out of the lecture theatre in this exact car saying this:

And that leads me to my most recent fulfilled priority, the cake. Which was super delicious and from Betty's at Harlow Carr (they also have stores in York and Harrogate - you will not regret going one bit). I'm hoping my brother succeeds in his ambition to work there partly because it's his dream and partly because I liked that cake so much I had to take a photo of it - the beauty is almost too much to bear.

Ciao for now,

Rhi x

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06 May 2015

How to Stay Calm in Times of Stress

Today's blog comes from a Rhi who is rather swamped in le travail. That's 'work' in English. See, I'm mixing my languages up, obviously a sign I'm pushing myself too hard (she says whilst taking her third break this hour)

Yup, just to illustrate - this is me right now, the mud and all
I know not everyone who reads my blog posts is studying right now, and so I thought I'd cater for everyone reading (please send all tokens of gratitude directly to my door via horseback) and write about how to remain, in a general sense, c a l m during times of increased stress.
Of course it's May now so there are some of you nerding up (or not nerding up, naughty) for exams, or maybe you're one of those lucky students who does 100% coursework - if so, nice move, seriously, reaaaaaaal nice one, just don't rub it in exam-lings' faces or we will take revenge during our "we don't give a **** what our grades are" season in-between our last exam and a few days before results day.
For you wonderful readers who aren't caught up in the web of education for whatever reason, you might have a job and if so you'll know very well the definition of 'stress'.
Of course, stress is caused by many things other than work. Social pressures, relationships, not being able to get a lid off a jar, and issues with family and friends (maybe that should have gone before the jar thing) all contribute. As well as, of course, random things related to themselves people stress about for no seemingly apparent reason, or maybe very evident reasons that people don't want to confront.

I am in no way an expert but the list below comprises of the things I do to relax and unwind when it's all just getting a bit too much. Hopefully it will help (YAY) and you can come back to it time and time again (DOUBLE YAY).

1. Listen to soothing music.

My answer to everything is almost always music. What is one of your favourite things in the world? Music. What're you listening to? Music. What's in that bagel? Music. Of course, there are certain tracks/albums/artists you don't really want to be listening to so I go direct and search for relaxing playlists on Spotify or YouTube. This is my current jam which I'll be doing yoga to shortly:

2. Practice breathing, slowly.

Not so slow that your lungs start crying and questioning their purpose in life, but so that you feel that you have enough control over your own body to start dealing with whatever issues you're faced with. In yoga we're told to breathe in for ten seconds and then out for ten seconds on certain moves, which is quite difficult at first (admittedly, especially in unnatural body positions) but if you can build up to this it really helps relaxation.

3. Write down your thoughts as they come out naturally, for 2 minutes.

This way, you can get a good grasp of what's really bothering you, or just have some weird but slightly nice therapeutic you-time. Which is important. If you're working for other people all time it can be easy to forget that we need to concentrate on ourselves at least once a day. Then, if you're like me, you'll get satisfaction when you rip up the paper (subsequently recycling) and move on.

4. Read for at least 6 minutes before bed.

I recently read somewhere that 6 minutes of reading can seriously help you get better sleep, and better sleep means less tired you, which means less stress and more will-power in the long run. Last night, I tried to do this but couldn't find a book I haven't yet read and therefore decided to read my 2013 diary. It was pretty hilarious and nostalgic and I slept better than I had done for the past week.

5. Drink lots of water.

Just, science.

6. Spend a bit more time outside, y'know, with nature and stuff.

Nature is nice. Nature doesn't give you deadlines. Nature doesn't make you reference things you don't wanna. Nature doesn't tell you you're slacking. Nature doesn't not give you a tip because their hot chocolate turned into a lukewarm chocolate en route from the kitchen to the tearoom (ahem). You get the picture. Maybe jog a bit (careful). Also, bird noises are super relaxing - that's why they feature on half of the relaxation music ever created, along with waterfalls. Note: if you combine numbers 1 and 5, make sure to avoid regular waterfall soundtracks.

That's it from me for today - I'm off to yoga (it's now a verb) and read for 6 minutes. I'm actually excited to go to sleep so I can wake up and have a breakfast of sausages and scrambled egg. This is my life.

Rhiannon x

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